Askance

I know nothing of brand loyalty, save when it comes to footwear. My clothing, hygiene products, office supplies, foods and technologies all enjoy preferences but even items as critically important to my connectivity and interface with daily life as my phone and computer are subject to bouts of caprice. However, no sandal has ever compared to the Mephisto. It takes me about a year to wear a pair through to the breaking point, less depending on how many times I've gotten them wet and strained the leather by running. I enjoy others more for their low-impact eco-friendly manufacture and competitive pricing. But there is a jubilance to be had upon arriving at a new pair of Mephistos, having gone without for up to a month. This is one of those things that frightens me a bit - the knowledge that some intricately-assembled leather and cork can chemically influence my brain.

Graduation is over and done with, leaving marks upon my memory of moments I'm not sure how to interpret retrospectively. It was all bitter-sweet and non-committal, as I'm told they always are. Though it lacked any sense of finality the alums who were suddenly there gave me closure. They knew me as I really was in a sense, before all of this madness and stupidity. Moreover, they knew a Johnston that wasn't horribly broken in too many ways. They are real people, with spirit and character, willing to make mistakes and this sadly separates them from most of the Johnston students I know now. I have serious concern for some of the good people that I've left behind, at least one of which is already so disenchanted as to be banished for a time. But they seem to be sorting out their own strategies for sanity so I imagine they'll get out alright. I truly wish that I hadn't been as consumed by all of the personal bullshit that Johnston threw, and had taken more time to be a better role model to new community members. Looking back on all of this though I'm just so glad it is done. I was ready to move on a year ago and I know those who've managed to curry so much favor through deceit will be known for what they are in the real world, eventually. Still, it feels like limbo, being stuck here for an extra month after even the young community members have left. I go walking with the dog at night through the empty campus and hear voices over by Johnston, upon closer inspection it's no one I know. The entire city changes as it descends into summer, and though I've been here before I'm usually so addled and decently far from the city itself that I don't notice. much. It's intensely irritating that some part of me might actually miss this place, just a minuscule amount. That thought is like a chigger in a sleeping bag to me. I've spent so long loathing this place and all of the crazy fucked-up people in it. I was on State St. yesterday allowing this thought that had been needling into my consciousness actually claim my attention for a moment, when I was informed that my favorite little bistro - the only non-fast food place in town where I can eat anything, the place with clouds on the ceiling, a strange kitchen and chess boards, the only place that has good drinks in town and where I tend to meet professors for lunch - is being shut down because Martha Greene found them to be too competitive with her business over the weekends and had a friend find a loophole in their lease and get them evicted within 2 weeks. Martha Greene is the "sweet little Martha Steward of the Inland Empire". My hickory chicken salad with mozzarella and mustard vinegar is being replaced by about as much starch, sugars and fats as you can bear to put into your mouth.

So I'm still around in the interest of waiting for my lease to run out and then dealing with the literally insane nazi landlady. In my time Ed and I are bringing the study I did over the past year to a point of publishability. I've been applying to jobs and sending out CV's like mad. It's only the 9th but already I'm stressing about where I'm going to be living and working, where to go if I don't know by the end of the month. I have applications in to places as local as Santa Monica and as far off as New Zealand so I really have absolutely no idea where I'll be. Phil will be staying back here, in California, to start his business. I think we've finally narrowed his living space down to either Marina Del Rey or Long Beach. He wants to live in Venice but that entire area is too expensive. He wants to be near that damn rope on muscle beach. I hope that the company starts out well. He's going to have a decent amount of competition. So my days are mostly spent either glued to the computer monitor or traipsing around the coast with Pip. Last night we wandered around Santa Monica for a time, I found my new Mephistos and Phil tried to find a restaurant where he'd be willing to both eat and use the restroom. He had a strict "no seafood, no sushi, no fusion" directive and being that I couldn't hit a pizza place or any of the pubs, in Santa Monica that left us with a lot of frozen yogurt places. The best FroYo place ever was found. It's called " Yo Green " and all of the chairs inside are little Ideo green horses and cubes you can sit on. They have two flavors, plain and blueberry, and you get three topings. I got blueberry (which to my ultimate surprise actually tasted like what you'd expect if you were good at crushing real raw blueberries into frozon yogurt) with coconut, mochi and kiwi. It was fantastic. I've added it to my mental quest map for future visits.

It's not a bad life right now but a combination of the living stress and job stress and holdover stress from the graduating isn't helping. Once we have Phil settled I'll feel better I think, although taking a year apart will be difficult. To compound issues I'm spending June 14th-21st helping my father in Salt Lake City with his aerial photography booths at a Rotary International Convention. I'm lucky enough to have Erin and Thor coming and a semi-functional laptop but it will be a long trip nonetheless. In a way I'm going to be glad to get away from this place, but the new job/new place/leaving Pip/exclusion diet combo may be too much to bear. I guess we'll see.